I had an interesting conversation with my daughter on the way to school this morning.
We got dressed in a rush, having woken up later than expected. While driving I turned to look at her sitting in the back seat. I glanced at her school pants, which had been washed, but still carried a small stain from the week before.
I said “Bella, I’m sorry there’s a stain on your pants, I’ll give them a good clean tonight, okay?”
She told me:
“Dad, life isn’t all about pants”.
I laughed and thought to myself, what an interesting statement from my five-year-old! Had I placed that much weight on it?
I followed up and said “That’s true I guess”, then asked “Well, what is life about?”
She paused, thoughtfully, then said, “Life is about, uh…sleep!”
I laughed again. Surely this was because I had woken her up early this morning to get ready for school. She’s thinking about the relaxing time in bed before Dad rudely interrupted.
I said, “Okay sure, what else is life about?”
She looked forward out of the car windscreen and thought for a moment as we drove along the freeway.
She said “It’s about driving!”
I said “Ah, yes, driving, going somewhere! Absolutely!”. “What else?”, I enquired.
She hesitated slightly, then said, “It’s about thinking”.
I responded “Hmm…good one! I like that! Anything else?”
This is when she dropped her little nugget of wisdom. She said “It’s about you“.
I said “Oh wow, and what do you mean by that?”
She replied, “It’s about what you are doing, not what other people are doing!”
I asked “So what does that mean?”
She replied “If it’s not your problem, it’s none of your business”
Okay, so, we might need to adjust that thinking slightly! But I follow the logic – don’t stick your nose into other people’s business. We can work with that!
Following that curious little interaction I took a moment to reflect and to consider what she had said. She said to me that life is about; sleep, driving, thinking, and you. I know that she innocently thought of the first things that popped into her head. However I couldn’t help but think of deeper meanings. I’ve been known to embellish details for the sake of a good story, but perhaps it’s because I’d been doing some personal reflection in the past few weeks too.
After dropping her off at school and stopping for a coffee, I sat down and thought more about what she’d said. I started thinking about what those words meant to me: sleep, driving, thinking, and you. I started to jot down words that came into my mind when I thought about those things. Here’s what I came up with.
Sleep
Wellbeing, rest, recovery, rejuvenation, meditation, and peace.
Driving
Moving forward, adventure, going somewhere, and exploring.
Thinking
Discovery, reflection, imagination, creativity, consideration, and empathy.
You
Pursuing one’s ambitions, staying in sync with what brings you happiness and joy, defining your own future, and living your own life, not someone else’s.
I guess If we’re trying to comprehensively answer the question of “what is life about” then likely we’re missing a few elements (family and community come to mind!). But I thought to myself, hmm, it’s not a bad list for a personal check-in!
And ultimately, what it did for me is it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how well (or not so well) I’m addressing those things in my own life.
I’d say I’m doing a lot of “driving” and “thinking”, but I’m somewhat neglecting the “sleep” and “you”. There’s definitely some room for improvement in there. Self-care has been a little low on the priority list lately.
Something to think about
That small incidental conversation on the way to school really left me thinking. It left me thinking about what’s most important. In that moment it helped me to simplify the lens through which I was viewing the world. I think there’s great value in that. Sometimes, we can lose sight of what’s most important when we’re caught up being busy people.
Check in with yourself. Which of those categories are you nourishing? Which are you neglecting? Is something missing from the list? Let me know what you think in the comments!
In the end, I agree with my daughter, life isn’t all about pants! (Though admittedly, I do still need to soak those).
